30 signs you grew up on a farm or ranch

A school bus races down the highway early in the morning outside of Fairfield, Montana. → Buy a Print

1.) You know it is impossible to tip a cow.

2.) You can drive any vehicle with a clutch.

3.) Your front door was always unlocked...even if your entire family was on vacation. And the keys to your car or truck were always in the ignition.

4.) You are devoted to either red or green tractors every bit as much as you are devoted to a pro football team (if not more). 

5.) When you give directions you don't use street names, you use landmarks.

6.) If someone asks you about the weather you tell them it is either too wet or too dry. And you are never, ever satisfied with the weather regardless of how close to perfect it is.

7.) You fear hearing the words, "Cows are out."

8.) You never had to talk with your parents about the birds and the bees. The farm or ranch provided ample opportunity to learn that lesson on your own.

9.) Travel is measured in time, not distance.

If you grew up on a farm you probably like red or green tractors. Never both. → Buy a Print

10.) Cell phone service, cable television, and high speed Internet were all once considered luxuries.

11.) Lunch was dinner and dinner was supper.

12.) You could drive a tractor before you could drive a car. And you drove a car before you ever attended a driver's education class.

13.) You made forts out of hay. Or snow. Or both.

14.) You have jumped on more hay bales than you have ever jumped on trampolines.

15.) Regardless of what city you are currently in, your first instinct upon hearing the toot of a horn is that someone is trying to say "hi" to you.

16.) You are an accomplished pea shucker, corn husker, berry picker, and bean snapper.

17.) The only traffic jams you ever experienced growing up were when cows crossed the road.

18.) Despite being 12 years old you only needed a note from your mom or dad to buy alcohol, cigarettes, or ammunition at any store "in town."

19.) When you went to college you learned other kids had more students in their home room than you had in your entire school. And you didn't know what a home room was.

20.) Your morning breakfast usually consisted of bacon, eggs, pancakes, and/or hash browns...and your diet radically changed after you no longer lived on the ranch or farm.

21.) Everyone showed up to watch if a house, barn, or business caught on fire.

22.) Your classroom was nearly empty when deer hunting season opened. Or so you were told.

23.) You intimately knew every road for miles. And every two-track road through the fields as well.

24) At least once in your lifetime you have driven a tractor, four wheeler, horse, or snowmobile to school.

25.) There was a time when you could recognize the voice of anyone who dialed the wrong number.

26.) The county fair was considered the social event of the year.

27.) You spent more effort looking both ways when you crossed a pasture looking for bulls than you ever did crossing a road looking for cars.

28.) You are much more likely to have had a favorite tractor in your life (mine was the Massey Ferguson Super 90) than a favorite car.

29.) You drank more water from a hose and spigot then you ever did from a plastic bottle.

30.) To this day you can still remember the exact time your school bus arrived in the morning.

BONUS: Your town did not have a beauty queen pageant, but it did crown a Dairy, Beef, Pork, Apple, Wheat, Cranberry, or Maple Syrup Queen. Or something similar.