1.) You know cow tipping is impossible.
2.) You can drive any vehicle with a clutch.
3.) Your front door was always unlocked, even if your entire family was on vacation. And the keys to your car or truck were always in the ignition.
4.) You are devoted to a particular brand of tractor every bit as much as you are devoted to a pro sports team (if not more).
5.) When you give directions you don’t use street names. You use landmarks; such as trees, barns, and bridges.
6.) If someone asks you about the weather you will always add that it is either too wet or too dry. And you are never, ever satisfied with the weather regardless of how close to perfect it is. “Well, we could always use some more rain.”
7.) You fear hearing the three words, “Cows are out.”
8.) You never had to talk with your parents about the birds and the bees. The farm or ranch provided ample opportunity to learn that lesson on your own.
9.) Travel is measured in time, not distance.
10.) You planned everything around planting, harvest, and/or calving seasons.
11.) Lunch was dinner and dinner was supper.
12.) You could drive a tractor before you could drive a truck. And you could drive a truck long before you attended any formal driver’s education class.
13.) You made forts out of hay. Or snow. Or both.
14.) You have jumped on more bales of hay than you have ever jumped on trampolines.
15.) Regardless of what city you are now currently in, your first instinct upon hearing the toot of a horn is to turn around because someone is trying to say “hi.”
16.) Years later you are still an accomplished pea shucker, corn husker, berry picker, and bean snapper.
17.) The only traffic jams you ever experienced growing up were the ones when cows crossed the road.
18.) Despite being justv12 years old you only needed a note from your mom or dad to buy alcohol, cigarettes, or ammunition at any store “in town.”
19.) When you went to college you learned other kids had more students in their home room than you had in your entire school. And you didn’t know what a home room was.
20.) Half of your senior pictures were taken with a cow, tractor, or barn.
21.) Everyone showed up to watch if a house or barn caught on fire.
22.) Your classroom was empty when deer hunting season opened. Or so you were told.
23.) You intimately knew every road and two-track road through fields for miles.
24) At least once in your lifetime you have driven a tractor, four-wheeler, horse, or snowmobile to school.
25.) There was a time when you could recognize the voice of anyone who dialed the wrong number.
26.) The county fair was considered the social event of the year.
27.) You spent more effort looking both ways when crossing a pasture looking for bulls than you ever did crossing a road looking for cars.
28.) You are much more likely to have had a favorite tractor in your life than a favorite car.
29.) All of your friends had cable TV and Internet service long before you did. And cell phone and over-the-air television signals were poor at best.
30.) The smell of freshly cut alfalfa or freshly spread cow manure makes you feel nostalgic.
31.) You drank more water from a hose and the mouth of a spigot then you ever did from a plastic bottle.
32.) To this day you can still remember the exact time your school bus arrived in the morning.
33.) Lifting two fingers with the rest of your hand planted firmly on the steering wheel to say “hi” to a passing tractor or motorist comes easy.
34.) You had a sandbox made with an old tractor tire.
35.) Getting stuck behind a tractor doesn’t piss you off.
BONUS: Your town did not have a beauty queen pageant, but it did crown a Dairy, Beef, Pork, Apple, Wheat, Cranberry, or Maple Syrup Queen. Or something similar.